Fiction

I think this will be my fiction place.  I have a very very difficult time tapping into my creativity.  I have locked it up for some reason so what comes out here is going to probably really suck at first as I strive to develop things, but hopefully, it’ll get better.

I have an idea..it’s a glimmer that comes and goes.  How do most of you do it?  Do you think of a setting first, or characters or the story line? 

This time around, I have thought of characters but what I’m going to have them doing is …well, beyond me at this point.

We have Jessica, who is an orphan child of blue collar workers.  We have Mitch, a firefighter, who is in love with her.  They get married, have a child, get divorced with Mitch taking the child with him.  Mitch then meets and falls in love with Jill and they go on to have a large family and whatnot.

That’s all I’ve got so far, but it’s better than I’ve ever had before.

 

Tired

I thought I’d write over here since not too many people know about it. 

We went to Talladega this weekend and it was a good weekend..it really was.

However, it did bring to light a few things in observing my one son…the 20 year old.

I wrote about him a while ago on the other blog.  When he was 9 or so, he was diagnosed with a psychosis..of an unnamed variety.  Since schizophrenia is so very rare in children, it’s tough to make a diagnosis.  I’ve always wondered and now that he’s getting older…into the late teens and early 20’s, I’ve definitely seen an increase in the level of his symptoms.

I was hoping it wouldn’t progress, but apparently it has.  Now it’s time to search for a doctor..and I have a hard time with psychiatrists.  He seriously needs counseling too, but he won’t talk to anybody but the people he trusts which at this point is me and his dad.  I’m grateful for that.

We told him to go on and quit his job this weekend, because the stress of it..working nights and being off cycle with the rest of the family is really exaggerating things.

You know, sometimes I could just sit down and cry…I am so tired.  Raising these stepkids of mine has really burned me out.  I can never ever let my guard down …it’s part of being a caregiver.  But, I am tired.

I’ll feel better when we are able to be more proactive about it.  I’m going to talk to him tomorrow morning when he gets home from work maybe.  He likes hanging out with me which is very cool.  I’ll make him some breakfast and we’ll make a plan.

 

 

Go Away For A Week…

And everything changes on ya.  I just got back from a trip to Texas.  It doesn’t go down as the funnest trip but it was productive, and that is what counts in the long run.

There are some issues with an ex husband and my nieces are just wrought, is the right word..is the real bottom line.  I’m just glad to be in the loop.

I love the senior chief’s women, though.  My mother in law got a little ornery this time and I was so glad to see it.  She’s been..well, sad..since my father in law died.  We’re all sad, but married for 63 years kind of sad, is just different, I don’t care who ya are.  I got there before their anniversary, which was on a Sunday and we were all at church.  That always makes her feel so good, and it makes me feel good to make her feel good..ya know?

She’s tough, though…she grades me as a mom and a housekeeper, and how organized I am and how I take care of my man and all that honey.  And she’s a tough taskmaster.  She threw down my next challenge and I am grateful to her..I honestly do not understand the rebellion of the sixties after having spent time with women of the greatest generation.  All those women I know..they don’t fuss and get all worked up about crap..they just do what needs to be done and that’s how it was.  They didn’t bitch and whine about stuff.  Anyway, my next challenge is to get my degree in finance so the guys don’t have to hire someone for that.  Hey, works for me!

Hey, I’m not saying it was all perfect or anything, but there are some very simple things that were philosohies that hold true and just because you want to make something better doesn’t mean you have to reinvent the wheel right?  I think women tried to reinvent the wheel a little with that whole liberation deal.

I mean, really, what do I need a paycheck for?  If I want to go buy new furniture…I do.  If I want to buy my mother in law a new lawnmower…I do…and myself too for that matter.  (hehe)  Seriously, what is up with that?  Ok..yeah, I’m spoiled now…and always have been in certain aspects, but I was never in it for the paycheck..ya know?  I don’t get that kind of thinking.

The senior chief and I have a unique kind of relationship, I guess.  I am extremely independent…half feral in some ways if you will and he is not going to change that about me…  So, all that’s really left for him to do is equip me with the right tools to get the job done so that God Forbid, something should happen to him..getting my car fixed is not a big deal, getting anything done isn’t a huge deal like it could be.  I know..it sounds absolutely nuts, but hey, the more you know, the more you know.

The senior chief’s women spazzed a little because they wouldn’t know what to do if their car broke like that in the middle or end of a trip.  They were like..Oh my god..this and that and this could have happened..Thank GOD Rick was there.  Shoot…I could have called a tow truck my damn self.  What would I have done 200 miles away.  Gee…am I the only person who thinks about those things?  It would appear so.

I don’t know why..doesn’t matter.  I quit worrying…once… and the senior chief learned a bit of a lesson..I appear to be a worrywart, but I am a very efficient worryer.  I always have a plan and I know what to do when it happens, if it happens.  It doesn’t always happen..but sometimes it does…so better prepared.  It does make me a bit neurotic but those few times that shit HAS happened and I had all the right whatever to deal with it..they let me be.

This weekend is Talladega and it’s going to be a good mix this year.  I’m back to beer again..I did miss beer…maybe it’s the yard work..there is nothing like going out and working up a sweat in the yard and then having a nice cold brewskie as a reward.  I missed beer a lot.  I don’t know what put me off of it for a while..if it was a taste thing or what..but I’m back now.  It’s not like I didn’t try it over the years, but if you’re a beer drinker you know if the first one doesn’t go down nice and smooth, you might as well give it up cuz now you done gone and given yourself an air bubble.

I hope to God I can get a day off after this Talladega stuff.  Man, my mom in law is so very much like my husband..only a gal..it cracks me up.  Getting along with her is rather easy…getting along with Dad was easy too..I just took care of Mom and he was happy.  But, man, she just never rests…always got to be doing something and like the senior chief, it’s always something she needs help with and you are just supposed to know she needs help, and appear to give it.  It drives his sisters and whatnot a little nuts, but not me.  I just appear and give the help she needs and we get along just fine.  She gets to teach me things.

My one sister in law though..does not want her to drive and it’s not because Mom is a bad driver, it’s because Mom is the only parent left and sister doesn’t want to lose her and is overprotective and knows it and has no intention of changing…LOL..

So, I was supposed to offer to drive but me and mom have an understanding.  Halfway to where we were supposed to be, I offered..or let her know I was under orders to offer.  She laughed….and she’s a speed demon, too, let me tell ya.  The only concern I have is with the maintenance of her vehicle.  I’m going to have to stop in with her mechanic and just have him give her a call and bring it in for a once over ever so often..for a while anyway.

I’m pretty much just rambling on at this point.  I do have a couple of funny..sort of kid stories to tell and whatnot…

 

 

Has It Come To This?

So a series of unrelated events led to the title question here.  Trust me, this is kind of funny.  I live my life as a sitcom..

Anyway, I am trying to quit smoking yet again.  I am going to try and persist through it but first there were some rules for the senior chief.  Number one..quit smoking out of my pack because I will cheat by smoking out of yours.  I’ll leave mine upstairs and smoke his.  Number one son lost a pack of his in the house the other day and we found it later.  It was new ones.  Oh yeah, you know I smoked them all.  I know, it’s an addiction and hell yeah I act like an addict..sort of when it comes to that.

So, in an attempt to honest up and everything, I gave him the last cigarette out of his pack the next day.  And then, I wrote my name on my cigarettes so I had no excuse for ‘confusing’ our packs and sneaking his.  I know…

So, after the guilt ridden confession to the eldest and whatnot..he picked up my cigarettes and he said..”OMG, Kelly, has it REALLY come to this?”  And I laughed and had to tell him the whole story above..so in a way, yes, but not like he was thinking.  And you know, that’s probably ALL I had to say, but that’s not necessarily true either. 

Life is SOOO Good

It really is.  I’m enjoying every second of it, too.  Last night we had yet another birthday party.  It is party season again this year.  Whew.  It was beer for me last night.  It’s been awhile since I’ve drank beer..I had forgotten how it is when they just go down so smooth…

Anyway, number 3 son turned 20.   We grilled some hamburgers and I tried this new baked bean recipe.  And a crowd showed up and made me feel like Jesus again.  I mean, the whole loaves and fishes deal.  Yeah.

And then I walked out in the garage and Michael, who is now ..24 or so…but is always my son just as the rest…anyway, he was out there telling the newcomers they better get their ass in there and get some of those beans because they were so good he wanted to have sex with them.  He didn’t know I was listening and I laughed my ass off.  That was a wierd description…but apt.  There was a lot of flavors in there.  At one point I was just grabbing a little of this and a little of that.  I will never be able to recreate those beans.  They were all on about contests and whatnot..and not the little county ones, they wanted me to go on up to Stone Mountain.  Hey, that’s the big time, ya know?

And with the beans..haha!  There was hamburgers that the senior chief smoked on the grill.  These burgers never touched the flames and cooked real slow.  They were the BOMB!  One kid was looking at them and wondering…why was it pink on the outside and done in the middle.  He was marvelling at that.  ha! 

This morning, though..and we went to bed early last night…but this morning me and the senior chief were both hurting units.  My little ass just went back to bed.  The senior chief, bless him, had to go to work.

However, I just took a look at the bank account and called him and told him that things are just really good, he can just go on and take a day off or two any time he feels like it.  That perked him up a LOT.  Work hard, play hard is good but a body has to rest every now and then.  It’s good to be able to do it..guilt free.

Best April Fool EVER

Ok, I don’t usually do tricks on Halloween or April Fool’s jokes, but last night….last night I was drinking beer and talking with a good buddy of mine and he asked me if I’d played a joke and I said no.  He PROMPTLY started giving me shit about it…he said…well, it’s 8:30 honey so you still got time.  I said, Dude, you are so right..but I got something to tell you..pish posh on April Fools.  He, of course, asked what…and I said…Dude..I am pregnant.

There wasn’t no pin dropping.  He was like all…Congratulations, really, but I got a lot of questions.  I said, Honey, you just go on and get it out of your system, then, I’ll shut up a minute and let ya.  And I did.  (giggle)  He was all like…what the hell are you gonna do.  For crying out loud, woman, …etc.

Then I laid the April Fool on him.  Ha!  THAT…was fun. 

  

Eighteen

Ha!  Remember your eighteenth birthday?  I don’t really remember mine.  Eighteen isn’t all it’s cracked up to be according to most…especially in this day and age.  My son ..number 4 son, but the first one I gave birth to, turned eighteen today.

Bless him, he asked me what time he was born, and I know it was before midnight sometime, but the actual time..no clue.  I was out cold having an operation at the time, so they could have made up a time and I wouldn’t know.  I remember what time I woke up and it was 11:30 pm or so.  I think he was born around 9:30 or so..but hey, I have no clue.

He’s a good kid.  No drinking, smoking, or drugging for this one.  He has straight a’s and is pretty much a goody two shoes.  I’m good with that.  He goes to church, I swear to God, every Sunday, sunday night, and wednesday he can make it.  He loves his family, country, and blah, blah blah…I mean, he’s a good kid.

We got him camping gear..tent, sleeping bag, mess kit..the whole deal because he wants to take a senior trip and hike some of the Appalachian trail before going off to college.  I always get them a really cool graduation gift too.  I don’t reward grades, but after all that hard work, I feel like they deserve something tangible as a present.  He wanted a futon…I told him to choose between a futon and a digital camera to take pictures of his trip on.  THAT messed his head up..haha!

He’s my power ranger kid, my technology kid, as well.  Man that kid knows technology, he was BORN in love with technology…but he wants to be a teacher.  He’s very active and is always on the go.  He’s grown up so much lately…I am so very proud of him, I could burst.  He’s an honor student and has been for his entire school career.  He loves school..thank God..and he loves to learn.

When he was little, the counselor I was taking him to when he first got diagnosed with ADD said to me…Oh my god, that kid has SUCH a gusto for life, it would be such a shame to ever see him lose that….and he hasn’t and the meds didn’t hurt, though he had to take them for a little while…

It’s really hard to believe he’s my first and fourth at the same time.

Happy Birthday sweety. 

New Chick

There’s a new chick been hanging around the house with the boys lately.  Well, she’s not really new, but I haven’t ever mentioned her before. 

I tell ya, I wish SHE was dating one of my boys.  She works at a bank, she’s 5ft. 1 in tall and girly packs a GUN.  22 years old and I should have figured because of the way she is and the way she carries herself that she could shoot.   She’s sweet and funny and confident in herself.  She doesn’t play girly games and boy howdy, she does not like my eldest son’s girl.  She told me that one night last week they had to drive around looking for her and some crap because she ran off and was hiding from them.  But I think the new chick has a crush on my eldest son, too…hehe…she’d be good for him, that’s for sure.

So here we are, all crowded down into Jake’s room for some reason.  Oh yeah, he wanted another of his friends to come over and I pitched a FIT because this kid or one of the people HE brought over…stole from Jake.  And I got a real problem with that.  So, Jake got pissed, stormed off to his room..this gal and her ex boyfriend were there, and they backed me right up..then THEY went down to talk to Jake and whatnot, and then I had to go down to make up with him….I call those the follow up talks.  I lose my mind and yell a lot…really…but the follow up talks make it better.

So, we all wound up in Jake’s room just shooting the shit and the new chick pulls out this Maxim that she brought for Jake.  What a hoot, right?  So, she starts reading me this article on how girls like porn and the statistics and if you’re looking for some good moves to put on your man, you can go to these websites and whatnot.  Girl was reading out loud to me.  She likes to read a lot too.  I blurted out at one point that I surely wished SHE was dating one of my sons.  Her poor ex-boyfriend…then I had to go and smooth it over with him…ugh..

Wine tends to loosen my tongue… ALOT.  When I get to drinking my filter turns off…I mean, I say ALL the shit that comes to mind.  I told dude buddy that his Eddie Haskell routine drives me up the freaking wall.  I mean, NOBODY is that cheerful all the time.  And if he is…I want to know what the hell he’s taking for that.  He said he wasn’t he just did that so he didn’t burden others with his shit.  I told him that was cool, but around here, we are just how we are.  Nobody has to be anything…

 So, it was a little bizarre sitting there being read out of a porno magazine while all the rest of the guys were just having their own conversation..I had a moment of thinking…could you imagine sitting with someone’s mom and having that kind of openness when WE were that age.  The times, they really are a changing..and I like that, I really do.

Equal Rights

So, the little dude has demanded his equal rights in the family.  This is so funny.  The youngest always feels like the older ones get to do more things, have more fun, all that..and the elder ones think that we are just softies for the younger ones.  It’s all a matter of perception.

Well, the youngest demanded his own “icon”.  He’s been just up my ass lately.  Well, with Vista, or with XP too, maybe…don’t have much experience with it.  I ought to look at the senior chief’s computer sometime..he had to downgrade to XP for industrial use…but anyway…the login screen just has a bunch of icons on it so you can choose your thing.

I had failed to make a sign on screen for him and let me tell ya, he was done with that.  He cleaned his room, he thought he deserved his own damn icon.

Well, y’all just better believe he’s got one now.  LOL.  Hey, when at 9 years old you can make a case for argument, hell yeah.  Man, there wasn’t any fit pitching or any of that.  He simply stated his case as to why he felt like he deserved one.  Hey, that’s cool with me.  I’m really amazed at his capacity to pick up that things are that simple around here.  The younger ones DO pay attention and learn from the older ones and whatnot.

He’s a funny kid, too.  He’s got this blond hair and he’s got the prettiest blue eyes you ever saw.  Me and the senior chief made some beautiful babies, I will say that.  My daughter is the spitting image of me.  It’s wierd, really wierd, she looks so much like me.

Anyway, me and the little dude had a conversation not too long ago that got me understanding what a crafty soul he truly is.  This kid plays being the youngest like a MASTER.  I mean, I bow to the kid’s ability, really.   But Mama only has so much patience for that and there is certain ages where you kick it up a notch..teach them the next set of skills to get by in life.

So, he was pulling a youngest routine and I was probably pmsing or something, but I let loose on him and told him to choose..did he want to be the baby, or did he want some of the privileges that came with being a big boy and if he did, then this whining, crying, tattling and trying to get everybody in trouble was going to stop.  He came back later and grinned his sunshiny grin and apologized like a MAN.  He told me he was sorry for the drama or something like that…it made me just stop in my tracks and marvel that he was 9 years old and marvel, that he had been getting away with that crap for awhile, and all I had to do was just simply call him on it.

My technique is such that when I call someone on something, I present choices..what is and what will be and how do you want things to be…kind of deal.  

That kid does have a sunshiny smile though that can light up a whole room.  Ha!  He’s gonna be a LADY KILLER.  Crap, all my boys are lady killers.  They all have a trail of women following them that want to be with them so bad, that worship the ground they walk on, blah, blah, blah…and ya know, I think they must be spoiled because they won’t settle.  They have standards in a woman that they expect and they won’t compromise.

I’m proud of them for that, I am.  I mean, they aren’t MEAN to women, they  are very sweet to women in general.  They just aren’t going to commit to someone who doesn’t at least TRY to do for themselves.  They aren’t knights in shining armor, really, and that’s good.  They are picky about their women.  They feel like there should be equal contribution.

Like, I think things wouldn’t have gone so sour between number one son and his girl if she’d have at least kept the house reasonably clean, and had a cold beer and some food for him when he got home.  He had to come home from working his ASS off..I mean doing some real hard core physical work ..and she just expected him to take over taking care of that baby after that.  I mean, her attitude is one of an 18 yr old really…she feels like she worked and was trapped with that baby all day long and I don’t know what the hell she thinks he does all day but the day she asked me to babysit, I just KNEW that number one son was NOT going to want to come home from humping steel all day long and want to take care of a baby.

I’m gonna go on record as saying I ain’t the world’s best wife.  I mean, I suck as  real housekeeper..it’s a flaw I struggle to overcome daily and we’ll do another post about that, but one thing I do know is that when a man works that hard for you, you take care of his ass.  There is always a place of haven for the senior chief, a cold beer, good food, and no baby taking care of.  When the daughter was born, he had to get a little ..that way…with the 2 am feedings.  He claimed them on his own…stating that was HIS daughter time, where nobody messed with him.  Now, I’m no dumbass, I let him get up with her, but he wasn’t required to.  We didn’t have the same deal when little dude was born, things were different…and he didn’t…

I’m just sayin’..equal rights means equal in the woman’s world…why is it so many demand equal rights for themselves, but aren’t willing to give it at home?

Wine Of The Week

I’m doing this new thing.  I’m trying a new wine/food pairing every week.  As my cooking time is kind of limited, this week, I got some smoked cheddar cheese and paired it with an Australian Shriraz.  And it is yummy!  I’m practicing so when me and the senior chief are old and alone…haha!  I have all these romantic dinners for two I want to cook.  Every night is going to be a romance night.  We have so much to catch up on in that area, it’s like we’re still newlyweds. 

I’ve been neglecting my cooking lately.  I told the senior chief that I’m going to plan one meal a week that is a really nice fancy do with the wine and all.  I let the kids taste the wine, too.  I do.  They don’t get a whole glass..they take a sip, take a bite of food and take another sip.  They have to go through the whole process and learn.  I’m a big proponent of exposing kids to all kinds of different tastes and experiences.  Within reason, of course…but food…hell yeah, I want to learn to cook like the whole world, so when I feel like eating something, I can go get the damn ingredients and eat it.

I really want to learn to cook chinese food and then have some sake with it.  Yummy!